Start small and take it slow 

Don’t procrastinate on bringing money up for the first time because that can make the conversation bigger than it needs to be. When you start small and take the conversation slow early on in the relationship, it takes the pressure off of your discussion. If this isn’t you, don’t worry—it’s never too late to start the conversation. But when you can bring up topics early, like whether you consider yourself a spender or a saver or what your saving priorities are, having those conversations feels more natural. This lays the groundwork for future, more challenging talks. 

Lean in when it comes up naturally 

For every couple in a different stage in their relationship, finances will come up differently. Maybe it’s a mention of paying a credit card bill or saving for a vacation that comes up early on in a relationship. When financial topics come up, no matter how small, use them as a way to open up a wider conversation.  

Add some romance to the conversation 

Finances might not seem romantic at face value. But you can up the allure around financial conversations. Go out for coffee, have a nice dinner, or take a walk in the park when you plan to talk money. Make it fun, and keep it light. 

Find some basic questions to get going

If you’re not sure how to get the conversation rolling, come prepared with some basic questions. Are you saving up for anything? Do you have any debt? How much do you save every month? How big is your emergency fund? What are some of your financial goals? These are all good questions to bring up with your partner. 

Establish equality in financial decisions 

Every couple will have a different setup for their financial situation, whether it’s a 50-50 split of expenses or anything else on the spending spectrum. But it’s important to set up equality in major financial decisions, regardless of the proportion that each partner pays. Even if one partner is only paying 30% of the rent, that doesn’t mean that they only have 30% of the say over which apartment to choose. Being on equal footing makes each financial decision more straightforward. 

Stay open to change 

Part of sharing a financial life with someone—whether that means splitting the grocery bill or buying a house together—means being open to life’s seasons. It’s one thing to decide for yourself not to spend any money on entertainment in order to meet a savings goal. But if both people aren’t on board, that kind of budget won’t be sustainable. A particular budget or a particular share of the bills is usually for a season, not for a lifetime. 

Learn together 

Sometimes it breaks the ice to have a third party involved. Taking a personal finance class together can be an easy way to bring up some of those trickier topics while learning and growing together. A self-paced course like RMCU’s Money Mastermind program can give you those conversation starters in a self-paced environment from home. 

No matter how you start the conversation, keep the financial communication flowing with your partner. RMCU is there to help you keep your money safe. Whether you’re ready for a joint checking account or you’re happy banking solo, apply to take advantage of all the member benefits that come from keeping your money with a community credit union.